These dark thoughts are circulating again in my head
As the music gets louder, the light's drawing closer and yet
When I take a moment to look back at life and reflect
Recollection betrays me and shows only what I regret
The crimson that's falling down and
The sea of doubt that surrounds
Pull me back again
'Til I fall again
Strength is what I wanted
Strength is what I need
I'm not ever going back to the man I was before
I can't distinguish the nightmares from reality
Especially when you're a no one in society
The dichotomy that exists, and
All the people that I miss
Pull me back again
Torture me again
(Pull me back to torture me again)
Strength is what I wanted
Strength is what I need
I'm not ever going back to the man I was before,
Not when I have to stand up and fight on in this war
Bury me in pleasure, bury me in liquor
(Repress, Repress, Regret)
Bury me in sorrow, bury me in requiem
(Repress, Repress, Regret)
I'm not sorry I'm not who you want me to be (I'm not sorry)
I'm not sorry and I'm not ever gonna be (Gonna Be)
Strength is what I wanted
Strength is what I need
I'm not ever going back to the man I was before,
Not when I have to stand up and fight on in this war
Called Life
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After reading this book for awhile, I started to find a sort of connection with the book. As it progresses, I begin to understand why he sought out power, why he wanted to be the manifestation of this ideal man not affected by any of the cruelties of reality. However, I also see how his climb towards the peak is always getting interrupted by what he was running away from in the first place. Hence, a cycle where he continues to run away from his weakness, only to be confronted by it again; he's Always Running.
In these lyrics, I tried my best to portray that, while playing off of the abstract and concrete diction Rodriguez uses in his book. Notice how the lyrics start off abstract, but continues to become more and more concrete. I did this to symbolize how Luis starts to realize how what he's doing is causing his own self-destruction. At the bridge ("bury me..."), I made it to symbolize his internal struggle as he confronts himself, because on one hand he's doing whatever he can to become stronger, but on the other hand, he's continuously hurting the ones he's caring about.
Another thing I did was build onto the chorus each time it's sung. This was, in part, due to continue the "abstract to concrete" thing, but the main reason I did this was to represent his growth as a person. It begins with a reminder of who he doesn't want to be; Luis wants to become stronger. Then, it goes off to explain how he sought power; he got involved with gangs and fought against many people. Finally, the last chorus represents his doubts, or rather, his realization that his actions have weight to them.
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